New Product Announcement

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here's how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The "Browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Most come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language stylus [PENCIL].

  Top 10 Children's Books Not recommended by the National Library Assoc

10. Clifford the Big Dog is Put to Sleep  
9. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories  
8. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle  
7. Babar becomes a Piano
6. Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear
5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
4. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
2. Let's Draw Betty & Veronica Without Their Clothes
1. The Care Bears Maul Campers & Are Shot Dead

 

The Shortest Books Ever Written

1000 Years of German Humor
Everything Men Know About Women
The Code of Ethics for Lawyers
Italian War Heroes
Who's Who in Puerto Rico
Americans' Guide to Etiquette
Royal Family's Guide to Good Marriages
Safe Places to Travel in the USA
Jerry Garcia's Guide to Beating Drug Addiction
Contraception by Pope John Paul II
Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu
Gun Control for The New Millenium: NRA Handbook

Never Judge a Book by its Author
Is O. J. Guilty?                        Howard I. Know
Animal Illnesses                       Ann Thrax
French Overpopulation              Francis Crowded
Fallen Underwear                      Lucy Lastic
Downpour!                               Wayne Dwops
Cloning                                     Ima Dubble
Irish Flooring                             Lynn O'Leum
I Lived in Detroit                       Helen Earth
Inflammation, Please                 Arthur Itis
Handel's Messiah                      Ollie Luyah
House Construction                   Bill Jerome Home
Unemployed                             Tobias A. Pigg
Holmes Does it Again                Scott Linyard
Home Alone IV                         Eddie Buddyhome  Lewis Carroll                            Wonderland
Leo Tolstoy                             Warren Peace
The L. A. Lakers Breakfast       Kareem O' Wheat
Neither a Borrower                  Nora Lender Bee
The French Chef                     Sue Flay
Tight Situation                         Leah Tard
The Scent of a Man                 Jim Nasium
Why Cars Stop                        M. T. Tank
Wind in the Willows                 Russell Ingleaves
Look Younger                         Fay Slift
Mountain Climbing                   Andover Hand
It's Springtime!                        Theresa Green
No!                                         Kurt Reply
And Shut Up!                          Sid Downe

  Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:

The French book -  The Sex Life of the Elephant
The English book -  Elephants I have Shot on Safari
The Welsh book -   The Elephant and its Influence on
                              Welsh Language and Culture
The American book - How to Make Bigger and Better
                                Elephants
The Japanese book -  How to Make Smaller and
                                Cheaper Elephants
The Finnish book -    What Do Elephants Think about
                                Finnish People
The German book -   A Short Introduction to Elephants,
                               Vol 1-6
The Icelandic book - Defrosting an Elephant
The Canadian book - Elephants: A Federal or State
                                Issue?
The Swedish book -   How to Reduce your Taxes with
                                an Elephant
The Swiss book -     The Country Through Which
                               Hannibal Went With His Elephants
The Israeli book -     The Elephant and the Jewish
                               Problem
The Danish book -    Elephants - 100 easy ways of
                               cooking them

 

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